The Hearts Desire
by Nai Phenix
Summary: Will Chikane be able to beat back death's clutches? Or will her heart filled with so much love fail? Will Himeko have to say goodbye to the love of her life forever?
1. And the walls come crumbling down

**I do not own any of the characters in this fic! I hope you enjoy**

***** **

Himeko sat in the cold emotionless waiting room crying to herself silently. The low hum of the light fixtures above ate at Himeko's haggard nerves and worn patients. The occasional distant patter of doctors' feet down the hall would momentarily distract her mind only to have it reawakened by cruel reality, her body shaking in quiet sobs.

'_Chikane…'_ She clasped her hands against her forehead sobbing in the still silence. It was so unexpected, Chikane seemed fine earlier…and now she was in surgery…Himeko clutched her heart, she swore she could feel it starting to crack as it beat in her chest.

*****_**Flashback**_*** **

_Himeko giggled. Chikane scooped up the petite' girl in her strong arms spinning her around, tenderly pressing their foreheads together. Himeko always got lost in those beautifully captivating midnight blue eyes. She thought she felt herself blushing. Chikane smiled, lightly giggling, and kissed Himeko's soft burning cheeks. That confirmed it, Chikane always kissed her cheeks when she blushed, she said it's adorable when she blushed. She knew very well kissing them only made her blush more, that's why she did it._

"_I love you Chikane Chan. So much" She felt her heart pounding against Chikane's chest._

"_I love you too Himeko." She kissed Himeko softly, "I love you so much."_

_She could feel Chikane's heart pounding against her chest with hers. That was normal. Then the walls started to come down. Chikane's heart started to beat a little faster and harder than normal, her blue eyes winced in a slightly pained expression, and Himeko knew something was wrong immediately, something terribly wrong._

_Himeko snapped back just enough to look over Chikane. _

"_Chikane!" Chikane stumbled forward, Himeko immediately caught her in her arms gently laying her on the couch. Chikane's breathing was labored, she could barely speak, Himeko shushed her whenever she tried. She immediately pulled out her cell phone dialing 911 giving them all of the information and trying her best to stay calm. _

_Himeko was panicking, 'Think, think, think! She always told you how to handle situations like these! Stop panicking and think!' Himeko pushed down her panic with all of her strength clearing her mind remembering the lessons Chikane taught her._

'_Make sure the windpipe is clear!' She tilted Chikane's head back opening her mouth, her windpipe wasn't closing, but her breathing was so labored…that meant it was something internal, she didn't know how to fix that! So Himeko did the first thing she could think of and gave Chikane mouth to mouth pushing the air into her lungs trying to help her breathe. _

_Everything after that all seemed like a blur…the ambulance arrived, strapping Chikane to a stretcher, getting her in the ambulance. Himeko got in, the doors slammed shut, the sirens blared, the medical team worked furiously trying to keep Chikane breathing, and the equipment rattled as the ambulance sped through town to the hospital._

_But all of that was silent, nonexistent to Himeko. Her eyes never left Chikane's. Those midnight blue, heavy lided eyes that dipped in and out of focus as she looked on at Himeko. Chikane struggled to raise a shaky hand up for Himeko's. Himeko took her hand, interlocking their finrgers. Her hand was in a cold sweat. She pressed that shaky, cold, sweaty hand to her lips, kissing it firmly, a single tear escaping from the corner of her fire gold topaz eye._

_She said the only thing that popped into her head, "It'll be okay baby, I'm here, I love you. Be strong…it'll be ok." A weak smile rose to Chikane's lips, Himeko could tell her words bolstered her spirit, that was all that mattered. Himeko Smiled back as they sped to the hospital._

_*** _**End Flashback**

Turns out that Chikane had some problem in her heart. Himeko didn't remember the name, but basically, the top two chambers in her heart, which are normally separated, weren't. And it could eventually kill her. It all happened so suddenly...

As sad as Himeko was that it was happening…it was good that they caught it early. That's what the doctor said. And now she's in surgery. She couldn't change the fact that it happened, or that she couldn't help in any way…she just had to have faith.

She wasn't sobbing anymore, but the tears kept pouring as Himeko stared blankly at the wall, the hands of the clock ticking idly in the almost muted waiting room.

****

OK i hope it was at least ok enough to get a few reviews, i'm working on chapter two, and this actually did happen between myself and my girlfriend so the story is all reality based this one time. R&R please =] feedback makes writing easier, i take all comments good or bad as constructive criticism, no one gets better by only hearing what they want, you have to know what you did wrong to get better.


	2. Hourglass if Memories, Minutes from Fate

Ok! So thank you very much to the reviews I got, every one of them! ^_^ they're very encouraging, and I want to please my readers, however few or many they may be. And to **lildevilish** who asked, in the story I'm based as Himeko, because the heart problem occurred with my girlfriend, it was a very frightening experience. And to **chkim218** and **chapellefan, **thank you so very much for being so specific on what you want to read about, like I said before pleasing my readers is what I'm aiming for. As far as the memories go, remember these are all based on myself and my own girlfriend so please bear with me =/ hehe.. So here's chapter two! And in this chapter I do an explanation of the actual disorder of the heart my girlfriend had and why it struck so suddenly. ^_^ Hope you enjoy.

***

**An Hourglass of Memories, And Minutes from Fate**

Chikane felt as if she were in a swirling vortex of darkness, memories of herself and her love Himeko rippling out, almost as if they were pulling away from her. She tried to reach out and grab them, but her arms felt heavy and weak, she couldn't move. She heard voices talking above her in the blackness…

"Careful…heart…be very gentle…….five hours half way done…"

Chikane tried to focus, _'Am I even awake?'_ that would explain why she couldn't move…then she remembered earlier. She was with Himeko in their apartment living room. Everything had been planned out, was going perfectly until a pain in her chest, a sharp pain beyond anything she'd every felt, gripped her heart and wouldn't let go.

The voices above distracted Chikane for a brief second. "Surgery has to be perfect…that blonde girl looks so helpless out there…"

"Increase sedative, heart rate and brain waves are increasing…." Then the voices grew dim, fading into nothingness leaving Chikane back to her minds eye.

She cursed in her mind. _'Himeko!' _Everything was set up! The lights were low…the candles were out and lit, and Baby We're Invincible by a Rocketship to the Moon was playing in the background. They just got back from a romantic dinner out together, and Chikane was planning on popping the big question when her heart wrenched in pain. Chikane knew by this point she was in surgery, and worried desperately about Himeko. She couldn't be with her right now even though both lovers wanted so desperately to be in the others arms, safely tucked away in their warm bed under their beige plush fluff blanket.

Chikane let her mind go back to that romantic dinner…to her Himeko and that warm almost soft to her minds touch, memory…She was so beautiful.

_Flashback_

_Chikane was all dressed and ready to go. She wore her deep midnight blue hair down with her customary head band, however this time it was pure white. Her only make up was a little lip gloss and some mascara, her features on their own were stunningly beautiful, so she didn't need much of anything at all. She wore a mid thigh length black dress, a deep V neck with little horizontal straps about an inch thick draping out around her shoulders. The dress had a slight scrunch purposefully in the right seem, which said side was also longer than the other, further accentuating the slight curve of her hips trailing to her beautifully sculpted and long, elegant, but strong legs. Her feet were French tip pedicured, and the black heels weren't very tall considering she was already a head taller than Himeko, but were elegantly designed with small criss-crossing straps over the toes, with small diamond studs on a few of them, fake of course, and another single elegant strap around her dainty ankle._

_She looked positively stunning, and was guaranteed to turn every head tonight, but that didn't matter, she'd pay no heed to them, her eyes were only for Himeko, her perfect, adorable, beautiful Himeko...who was currently having a hard time getting on her heels, again. She could hear shuffling and a small yip, followed by the expected thump as Himeko fell on her butt._

_Chikane giggled as she leaned on the granite bar countertop that connected to the kitchen. She took a moment to take in the surroundings of their home. Their home that they built together, metaphorically 'built' of course._

_The kitchen wasn't very big, but it was an apartment. It had a fairly deep sink that looked like it was polished by secret elves every night, or so Himeko says. There was open counter space to its left and to the right was the microwave, the light switch just in front of it. Chikane couldn't count how many times Himeko accidentally hit the open button on the microwave feeling for the light switch, and practically jumped out of her skin at the loud "Clunk!" it made when it popped open. Chikane laughed to herself remembering the fond memories._

_The wall curved left after the open counter space on the left, with a spice rack neatly positioned in the corner with the knife block right next to it sitting right by the stove top. It was a gas stove top, but one of the slightly newer nice ones. Chikane knew she was o.c.d., and she was the better cook than Himeko, so since she did all the cooking, everything in the kitchen had to be just so. Which was, thankfully for Chikane's sake, ok with Himeko, she didn't mind her o.c.d-ness, if anything it helped Himeko keep better track of her own things, heaven knows she's scatter brained at least half the time. Chikane always loves when Himeko cooks for her though, its not five star food, but it was made by HER Himeko, and it still tasted good, she knows Himeko is self conscious about her cooking though._

_She smiled turning around scanning over the living room. They had a nice, forty inch plasma screen television mounted on the wall, with a very comfortable black leather lazy boy couch in front of it. A nice cherry wood, polished coffee table about three feet long and two and a half wide in front of it. Chikane snickered. They had quite a few 'memories' on that couch and coffee table, it's a miracle the table isn't broken actually…_

_Chikane shook her head from the intimate memories, she was planning on making more tonight, no sense in getting wound up so soon. The matching black leather lazy boy recliner sat at an angle to the couches right just in front of the front door. The balcony door was five feet in front of the couch to the left, and the dinner table for four people, in case Mako and Souma came over, was to the right of the living room, it was made of polished cherry wood as well surrounded by red velvet cushioned cherry wood seats. Next to the front door was a little table with a lamp on it, and a two set key ring holder screwed into the wall. To the right of the front door was the closet. The front door also had some fond and intimate memories. Those ones always happened when they planned to go out, but as soon as they got to the door, one of them would break control and kiss the other like crazy, they'd drop their stuff, and proceed with kissing, fondling, and stripping their clothes off making love several times around the apartment, before they even got to the bedroom._

_Mmmm…their bedroom. King sized bed with white sheets and the best blanket ever, very plushy and soft with four huge plush pillows and a long dresser and a tall one with a sliding mirror-door closet. The bathroom was small, standard counter space, toilet in a sectioned off part with its own door, and a bathtub, shelves stocked with amazing scented shampoos and conditioners, and bubble bath just for romantic nights. _

_Chikane looked at the clock by the door, and was about to go see if Himeko was still conscious, when she heard the bedroom door down the short hallway creak quietly open. Chikane turned around and immediately froze, staring wide eyed and mouth agape, with a very rare blush rising to her cheeks._

_Himeko looked stunning! She told Himeko it was a special night and to dress up nice, and man Himeko really did her best. It showed. 'She might get more attention than me' Chikane mused to herself smiling. She liked that thought. Having something everyone wanted all to herself. It was a silly, fleeting thought, but it crossed her mind nonetheless. _

_Himeko's hair was down, but she every so subtly put a little curl at the ends of her long gorgeous sun colored hair, with the customary red bow that Chikane loved pulling back some of it. Her make up was subtle, only a light eye shadow, mascara, and lip gloss, but it made her look even more gorgeous than usual to Chikane. She had on a matching mid thigh red dress that was slightly longer in the back dipping into a V just behind her knees. The top was a low cut V neck halter top with a low open back that had a braided back just below her shoulder blades down. She wore high red heels with a single strap and a swirl of fake diamonds on it, a single slender strap around her delicate ankle._

_Chikane's eyes' were locked onto Himeko. A blush came to Himeko's cheeks, as she smiled timidly, her hands fidgeting nervously with her black clutch in front of her. _

_Her voice was small and nervous and almost squeaked out, "You look amazingly gorgeous Chikane-chan."_

_Chikane smiled and lightly giggled her eyes never leaving Himeko's as she walked the three feet distance between them clasping her hands around Himeko's. The clutch fell to the ground but neither heard it, they were too lost in each others eyes. "You look amazing…gorgeous…adorable…and sexy…" Chikane smiled and kissed Himeko between each word relishing in the ever adorable blush that rose to Himeko's cheeks as she did so, especially when she said she was sexy._

"_I-…I'm sexy?" Himeko blushed her smile growing a little. She never thought of herself as sexy, she was always the cute one wherever she went, everyone called her cute, no one ever called her beautiful, let alone __**sexy**__. _

_Chikane smiled and kissed her blushing cheeks interlocking their fingers gently and affectionately nuzzling her face to Himeko's. Himeko giggled and smiled brightly nuzzling back, she knew that meant yes, she didn't have to hear her say it._

_Chikane smiled and still holding her hand, bent down and picked up her clutch that she finally noticed, and walked with Himeko hand in hand to the door, hoping they got out of the house with no 'incident' this time, because she wanted everything perfect. She reached for the door knob, waiting for Himeko's hands to grab Chikane, spin her around and pin her to the door and start kissing her like crazy._

_But it didn't happen, thankfully, to both parties. Chikane desperately wanted everything to go according to plan, and Himeko because she really took time to try and look perfect for Chikane, and wanted to go out and see what was so special. She even burnt her index finger a little on the curling iron. She smiled to herself, Chikane always made the best surprises for her, she loved that they were so in love, and that they both were helpless romantics._

_So they got outside the door then down the stairs and in the car, and actually drove to the Italian restaurant without any intimate incidents, a new record! _

_Himeko had to consciously concentrate on not letting her mouth hang open. The restaurant was beautiful, and it smelled heavenly. She didn't catch the name, but there were pillars with real ivy winding up them, copies of famous paintings all over the walls, and a few original pieces by minor artists, and lit candles lining the walls of the vaulted ceiling, with the lights dimmed giving a warm and cozy feeling. They sat at a reserved, private, slightly raised booth in the back of the restaurant with two long stem red roses in a hand blown glass vase with some red surging up from the bottom. _

_After they ordered their food and ate and the table was clear, they sat, Himeko in Chikane's arms._

_Himeko laughed out loud under her breath remembering how they met and eventually got together. Chikane met Makoto and was immediately infatuated with her, and started dogging the younger athlete, who wasn't interested at all. Then Makoto slyly introduced the two, making it seem like chance to the both of them, and as soon as Makoto turned down Chikane for good, Himeko and Chikane became inseparable Makoto never lets them live it down…_

_Himeko giggled more. "What's so funny?" Chikane smiled holding Himeko tighter._

_"I'm just remembering how we first met and got put together."_

_Now it was Chikane's turn to blush, that memory always did, she never got played before, she didn't know how to take it. But since it wound up with her getting Himeko, she took it as being ok. "Wow, I still can't believe Makoto played me like that…." She laughed a little embarrassed. Himeko just giggled some more and turned her head to lightly kiss Chikane on the lips. Neither of them had any big qualms about PDA, but they didn't broadcast it like some couples._

_After that little kiss they left and went home…Chikane spun Himeko around…and was about to pull out the ring…when her heart wrenched in pain…_

_End flashback_

Himeko slowly opened her eyes. She must have fallen asleep…and in a very uncomfortable way. She was sitting in a waiting chair her head propped back against the wall. Sometime during her pleasant memory filled slumber she shifted to one side her head tilted awkwardly, and now every little attempted movement hurt like hell.

Himeko groaned rubbing her neck as she shifted her head to the other side stretching out the sleeping kink. After rubbing her sleepy eyes, she looked around the room. Stark white walls, gray carpeted floors, and floral paintings met her eyes, a typical, dull, waiting room.

She couldn't take the sitting anymore and got up stretching out her sitting sore body sighing out loud. No sense in being polite. There was no one around to hear her be rude anyway. Himeko idly walked over to the vending machine, and each step felt like it was being weighed down by ten pound sand bags.

_Flashback_

_A female doctor read over her clipboard closely on the examining, and operating doctors notes before looking up at Himeko. Her immediately distraught face hit home to the normally indifferent doctor. She talked soothingly best she chould while still sounding professional._

_"She has Atrial Septal Heart Defect, or ASD. It doesn't always show itself immediately at birth. It sometimes develops around now, her early twenties. It's the lack of separation between the top left and right chambers of her heart. Or a more common statement is, well, there is a hole in her heart. When there is a large defect between the atria, a large amount of oxygen-rich blood leaks from the heart's left side back to the right side. Then this blood is pumped back to the lungs, despite already having been refreshed with oxygen. This is bad, because already-oxygenated blood displaces blood that needs oxygen. Many people with this defect have few, if any symptoms at all."_

_The female doctor explained slowly to Himeko in her obviously stunned and shaken state. The female nurse put a comforting hand on Himeko's arm. She barely registered it while she replayed the explanation over and over in her head. She wished she Mako was here, but she left her phone at home, and didn't have it memorized…_

_The female nurse continued, trying to offer an explanation to why it happened, and hopefully ease her nerves some. "The reason her reaction was so sudden has to be because something seriously got her blood pumping, basically very excited or worked up and her heart wasn't able to handle the sudden increase in blood flow and under oxygenation of the blood cells. It's actually good that we caught it now really. But there shouldn't be anything to worry about. The only part that you have to worry about would be the surgery, and if that goes smoothly, I guarantee this will never be a problem again. Just make sure she sees a cardiologist for check ups, and takes her medication."_

_Himeko still didn't know what to do…what if something did go wrong in surgery?_

_End Flashback_

She put in the change and got the Pepsi that popped out the bottom. She knocked her head on the machine as she came back up.

"Ow!...Mmmm…" Himeko rubbed her forehead. She desperately wished Chikane was there to kiss it like she always did, and say how adorably silly she was.

Then the worst case scenario pounded into Himeko. What if Chikane didn't make it? What if the surgery went wrong? What if the dinner…that last moment in her arms before her heart started hurting…when she was in the ambulance holding her hand…what if those were the last moments she was ever going to see Chikane alive? The last time she would ever see Chikane…

That possibility hit Chikane hard in her heart. She fell to her knees immediately, the hot tears, unhindered sobs, and the loud thump as she repeatedly hit the soda machines, echoing loudly, onto def walls and otherwise silent halls. No one came to tell her to hush, or comfort her. Her moment of weakness was unabated by any. And the one person she wanted so badly to be there, may not wake up ever again. That comforting touch of the love of her life…that sweet melodic voice, may never grace her again.

She cried harder, small groans of protest, frustration, sadness, worry, and her inability to help her lover in any way escaped her slightly swollen pink lips. Her heart wrenched in anxiety and sadness, her breathing was labored, and she cried for all she was worth, in that cold, empty waiting room. Finding no comfort, no safe haven or promises that it'll be ok, only the icy anticipation of awaiting fates hand.

****

In the operating room down the hall, the doctors worked furiously as Chikane's heart rate started to increase and her breathing slowed.

"Get the defibulator stat!" The doctors worked furiously, pumping her chest trying to get her heart pumping again. Then, shouting, "Clear!", as he put the electrifying pads to her chest in another effort to jumpstart her heart. Chikane's body arched up for a second, then plopped back on the table, still, save for her ragged breathing.

_Beep, beep, beep, beep!_

Chikane's heart rate was steadily increasing. She tried to open her eyes and concentrate but everything was a blur of bright lights, worried, frantic and sweaty masked faces, and a woman telling her to breathe. But those eyes…they weren't Himeko's eyes.

Himeko…That's all she wanted, She had to concentrate on breathing…Himeko…she had to live for Himeko. She wasn't ready to die yet. She wasn't ready!

_'HIMEKO!!!'_

_Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep._

****

Himeko felt a very sudden and powerful anxiety, an absolute need pulling at her, screaming at her to go to Chikane.

Himeko shot up running down the hall looking in every room for her Chikane-chan.

There!

Himeko pounded on the glass, realizing something was wrong by the doctors frantic work, and the loud, fast beeping of Chikane's heart monitor.

"Chikane! Chikane-Chan!!" Tears flowed down Himeko's burning cheeks unbeknownst to her as she pounded on the glass window and yanked on the locked door. She had to get to her Chikane! She just had to!!

The head doctor, hearing Himeko's shouts and pounds, sent a nurse to detain her, for hers and Chikane's own good.

The nurse opened the door, and Himeko pushed past her shoving the stunned nurse into the door. How in the hell did such a small girl get so powerful? "Chikane-Chan! You have to live! Chikane-Chan!! I love you please open your eyes! Please!!"

Himeko ran for Chikane's still body reaching out for her, her hand just inches from her love as two male nurses grabbed her lifting her up of the ground slowly walked her back out of the operating room.

The head doctor cursed working frantically on Chikane, sweat pouring down his furrowed brow, the nurses all around him cheking her pulse, equipment, pumping the air into her mouth, and doing anything else the doctor needed.

Meanwhile Himeko kicked out her legs struggling with all of her little might against the two male doctors. But to no avail they dragged her out of the room, and headed back down the hall with her trying to talk her down, but she didn't even hear them. Mustering all of the strength she had left Himeko heaved pushing away from the doctors, who, not expecting such a powerful push from such a small young woman, lost their grip on her.

Himeko didn't plan on much other then pushing away, and being the klutz she is, stumbled forward falling face first, hitting her head hard on the ground.

Everything went fuzzy around the edges as the nurses rushed to her asking if she coud see or hear them. Chikane…she….had to…….get to………Chikane………

And her world went black.

***

End of Chapter 2, what will happen? Will Chikane die? Or live? Will Himeko have to live her life alone, without the love of her life and cope? Please review, they're greatly appreciated. Chapter 3 coming soon.


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